Patient Resources


Ready or not...here are 13 more jokes to make you groan!

1. Patient: "What’s that floater doing in my eye, doctor?"  Doctor: “The sidestroke.”

2. Doctor: “Have your eyes ever been checked before?”  Patient: “No, they’ve always been hazel.”

3. Why did the cyclops have to close his school?  He had only one pupil!

4. Why wouldn’t the optometrist learn any jokes?  He had heard that a joke can help break the eyes.

5. What is it called when you poke your eye with safety glasses?  Eye-rony!

6. Did you here about the new website for people with chronic eye pain?  It’s a site for sore eyes.

7. When are your eyes not eyes?  When an onion makes them water!

8. Why do beekeepers have such beautiful eyes?  Because beauty is in the eye of the bee holder!

9. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed?  Because she couldn’t control her pupils.

10. What's your eye doctor's favorite treat?  Candy cornea!

11. What has four eyes and a mouth?  The Mississippi.

12. Did you know that your left eye isn't real?  It's just in your head.

13. What did the optometrist say when the patient complained he made too many jokes?  “Bad puns are how eye roll.”